The Will to Live

Life is a funny thing. It was a complete accident, an anomaly, really. It's like we're a plague or a fungus growing on someone's planet collection. In effect, life has no purpose, yet it will do everything in its power to survive. I think that's what defines life; the desire to live. By 'desire', I don't mean the human emotion. From humans to bacteria and everything in between, they all demonstrate this will to live. Bacteria take a strength in numbers approach with simple DNA that can mutate quickly to ensure survival.

Anyway, I'm not really sure where I was going with that. I'm trying to understand the limits of my mind. I know there's a primal part of me that acts on instinct and emotion. This part is needy and nagging constantly. It's very much like a child that never grows up. I guess we'll go along with Freud and call this the id. The id is vastly more cunning than you are. When you have an internal dialogue, you are communicating with the id. It's the patron of the conversation that is asking for something. Id tells you when to eat, when to pee, when to get angry and sad and happy.

Most people just think its a part of who they are and just accept it. I tried to fight my id, to outsmart it. After that it just turns into a nagging contest, constantly irritating you. Any smoker that has quit or has tried to quit especially, knows the power of the id. Poking and proding you until you smoke that cigarette. (I have since quit smoking; it's been almost a month now!)

It's very easy to spoil the id, and much like a child, once spoiled, it's nearly impossible to change its ways. On an aside, it's absolutely appaling how parents fail to take into account how their actions will affect a child.

The reason the id so intelligent is that it makes you believe you are them. It bears repeating that the id convinces you to be its puppet, and you're perfectly okay with that. The thoughts are coming from inside your head, so it must be you, right?

I've learned to recognize the id's attempts in controlling me. Upon realizing this, I viewed my id as an oppenent that must be conquered. I gave up all my habits and I started doing things just because the id doesn't want me to. Look at it this way: every time you say to yourself "I want to," or "I don't want to," it's the id talking.

Again, the id is incredibly powerful. The id also manifests itself in unexpected ways. Certain personality traits are driven by the id. These traits however, are some of the easiest to break. Once you recognize these traits in yourself, it's easy to prevent acting them out.

Some things are more difficult to change. Emotional reactions are, without a doubt, the bane of every human I've ever met. I learned at a young age to control my emotions. I was a third baseman when I played baseball. Eventually they had me try pitching. Throwing a baseball into an imaginary box 1.66 feet wide and probably close to 2 feet high takes a considerable amount of concentration. If you screw up, the id lets you know right away. If you can't learn to silence the id, you can't throw strikes. Being a bit narcissistic, I quite liked pitching because I controlled the pace of the game, so I learned at a young age how to handle the id.

02.18.2010. 10:02

Comments

This article hasn't been commented yet.